Three Deaths

Old man. Old dog. Dog older. Man younger. Dog years. In them. Of course. Dog dies. Man sad. Old man. Tears stream.

Dog dead. Big room. Bad smell. Bloody dog. Burial required. Ceremony needed. Man decides. Man acts. He drags. Drags dog. By leg. Hind leg. Rigor mortis. Difficult dragging. Scrape scrape.

Thud thud. Down stairs. Man drags. Man pants. Dog still. Dead still. Great exertion. Bloody dog. Thud thud.

Drag along. Out door. Back door. To garden. At last. Beautiful weeds. Wonderful overgrown. Mouldy shovel. Sad man. Wet face. Man angry. Bloody dog. Bloody death.

Whack whack. Hits dog. With shovel. Very vigorously. Feels younger. Twenty years. Fuck bollix. That’s better. Dig now. Lest sunset…

Dig dig. Deep down. Stony ground. Awkward work. All that. That work. Lousy dog. Bad smell. Big bother. For what. Life death. Opposites paradoxes.

Back inside. Commode smells. Or bedpan. No matter. Smell growing. Commode basins. Chamber pots. All uncleaned. Filthy commode. Ah eureka. Bury them. Bury all. Filthy stench. Cannot clean. Dirty containers. Bury them. Together forever. Shit piss. With dog. Truly deserving.

Dog down. Into ground. Commodes down. Into ground. Stench unbearable. Dog rot. Rot faster. With Commodes. Faeces etc. Speeds process. Thank God.

Bury Dog. Fill hole. Maybe later. What then. Much later. Dig up. Dog’s bones. Very good. Clean them. Dirty bones. Keep them. On mantelpiece. Bleach them. Bleached mementos. Life lived. Now over. So forth. With relics. Move on. With memories.

Erect tombstone. Inscribe name. Rex I.N.R.I. Wrong name. Ah well. Tombstone cross. Cross wood. Not stone. Tomb-wood. Wood plank. Old skirting. Over hole. Covered now. With dirt. With weeds.

Man dog. How different. One dead. But no. In past. How different? One slobbers. Other drools. Both do. Both sad. Both home. Both old. Both eat. Both same? Both useless. Both worthless. Four limbs. Two eyes. One nose. So on.

Had wife. Now gone. In ground. All gone. All ruins. Rubble strewn. Scattered remnants. Ash dust. Ninety years. Or so. Wasted thus. On life. Farce life. Why bother. All done. No matter. Not now. Leave be. Leave it.

Heh heh. True descent. True darkness. Blinding night. Man’s lineage. Adam on. Now stopped. Stoppered bottle. No more. Not now. No sons. No daughters. No progeny. Just shit. Dog wife. House body. If ever. No more.

World forgotten. Old man. Man forgotten. While alive. Lone house. Far off.

No more. Too sad. Too funny. Too emotional. Stop all. Stopper all. His gob. His arse. Cork both. Be done. With all. It all.

Let death. Death accumulate. Plug holes. Accumulate death. Accumulate shit. And piss. And carbon. No escape.

Tears stream. No face. Not really. No eyes. Not really. No mouth. Yet laughter. And tears. Issueless ceaseless.

Soon over. Dead night. End it. Little strength. Strength left. Yes yes. Use it. To what. End it. Might try. Or cry. And laugh. At what. This life.

This life. This body. These eyes. These hands. This flesh. Used it. Used well. No resale. Not now. This body. These secretions. Muscle tendon. Marrow bones. He names. Name them. With relish.

And mind. The memories. So few. So inadequate. For life. But death. For death. Perfect memories. For that. Of hunger. Of love. Loss won. Of all. All inadequate. Deserved more. Yes certainly. No doubt. Not now. Only assertions.

Young man. Young wife. Grew old. Got annoyed. Very often. With what. Each other. With life. With nothing. For pleasure. Relished annoyance. Pain pleasure. All one. All sensation.

What matter. Wife dead. Man old. Cursing consciousness. But soon. Soon over. Soon none. No more. Sheer being. Sheer essence. Sheer nothing. No torment. No joy. No tears. Nothing given. Nothing received. Sealed off. No expectations. Soon over. All over. Sooner better.

On on. On death. He shouts. Take me. Empty house. Ah yes.

He dies. Gets wish. His wish. Last wish. To die. To forget. His life. Wasted life. Wasted joy. Wasted pain. Wasted death. Wasted wish. In vain.